News from the North: Earning Our Stripes

I promised a post this week about our other child, the big one, so here it is. But the problem... where to begin?

As most of you reading this know, Norah has always been a lot of work. She is off the charts whenever we do the self assessment "Do You Have a Strong-willed Child" tests. And because of that, Jamie and I find ourselves physically and emotionally exhausted at the end of almost every day. I have had a lot of friends tell me over the years that "all kids misbehave" and "all kids act up." I do believe that. But I also know, without a doubt, that the frequency and intensity of Norah's flare-ups are well beyond what most people have to deal with on a regular basis.

In no way do I want to come off in this post as a bitter "whoa is me" parent. Not at all. Our problems pale in comparison to what many people around the world deal with on a daily basis. I know personally many family dealing with things far more difficult and painful that us. Our difficulty with Norah, however, has given us a unique perspective on a lot of things, like: a) parenting is not a right, but a privilege, b) God chose us to be the parents of this amazing girl, c) we cannot raise this child without the help and support of family, friends, and most importantly God.

Next week Jamie and I will be meeting with a therapist to talk through some of the issues we have been dealing with at home. Norah is an amazing kid on so many levels. She is so smart and advanced in just about everything that you can easily forget that she is only 5 years old. We dealt with a lot of her anger issues when she was 2 and 3 years old, but then she was doing pretty well for a long time. Over the past 2 months of so the anger has come back. As her parents, we desperately want to help her, that's why we are seeking out help. We need some tools that we can use and tools that we can give her to help her cope. Right now she has no self-control and no ability to manage herself. Just this past week she has gone into epic meltdown three times. Each time she gets sent to her room where she overturns her beds, rips all the sheets off, and throws anything she can get her hands on across her room. It is my prayer that at some point in the future I can post back how situations like that don't happen anymore, but that even though she gets angry and upset, she has figured out ways to channel it in a productive manner.

We do have good days too, they are not all bad. And it is probably the fact that the bad days are so bad that it makes the good days that much better. On a good day Norah listens well, helps with chores and activities around the house, and is a second mom to Ethan. She loves: swimming, tennis, riding bike, gymnastics, playing games with mom and dad, and running. In fact, she won all 6 events that she participated in at the Rochester All-Comers Track Meet.

It is a journey. Right now it seems like we are experiencing lots of road blocks and car trouble. But ultimately, don't those make the road trip better in the end? We certainly believe so and pray that with God's help we can look back on these days and say "those were the good old days."